She couldn’t help herself from smiling every time he crossed her mind. Thoughts of him summoned up butterflies in her stomach and made her want to listen to soppy love songs. The last few days had been spent in his company and couldn’t have been any better unless he had said outright that he liked her back. In a weird, convoluted way, it was almost better that the subject hadn’t been directly broached out loud between them. He had only just broken up with his previous girlfriend (who, it must be noted, had been present at the party the previous evening and had been absolutely lovely); she didn’t want him to say something which he would then take back later on as having been something only said as a result of loneliness or some kind of rebound thing. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Whether as a result of the amount of time she had been spending aimlessly over the previous week, or whether it would have been the same if she had had work to preoccupy her mind, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she couldn’t stop thinking about him and that, even though she could barely concentrate on anything else, she didn’t want to stop. The way he had looked in his silly fancy dress outfit for the halloween party, baggy t-shirt hanging off him and the sleeves of his woollen jumper covering the knuckles on his beautiful hands; the way he touched her knee to emphasise a particularly animated comment to her; the lingering smiles he had shone her way when they were alone...she could go on and on thinking about more and more things she liked about him. The freckle on the back of his ear; his sharp brown eyes behind the photochromic lenses of his glasses; the loud laugh that unashamedly bolted from him when something particularly humoured or tickled him. Then there was that awkward conversation between her and his friend, where the friend had just been in the process of telling her that he fancied her when he and his brother came to join the conversation. She was completely nonplussed as to what her response should have been, unable as she was to drown out the tidal wave of rising excitement inside her to discover that maybe he actually did like her back...! They hadn’t been working together for long - and had only been spending their time together more and more frequently in the previous week or so - but she was almost shocked to discover just how quickly she couldn’t get him out of her head. They had talked about how much they enjoyed one another’s company at the party, which had been followed up by one of the aforementioned lingering smiles. She had broken their mutual gaze first, afraid that her feelings would be written all over her face. Now she wished that she could have been able to hold his gaze for longer. They had slowly drifted into sleep on the sofa together as the final party guests were beginning to show signs of leaving and although her sleep had been broken and uncomfortable, it had been one of the best nights’ sleep she had had in days, due to no other reason than the fact that she had been able to rest her head on his shoulder and cuddle up to him, the thin disguise of being asleep a good enough excuse to be able to laugh it off in the morning if necessary. It hadn’t been necessary, though. In the morning, when she and his friend had been chatting and he had slowly drifted back into awakeness, he had stretched his lithe body out across the whole sofa, curling his legs around her and ensuring that she remained close to him. She had been unable to miss the way he watched her for longer and longer periods of time, even when the lazy sofa-conversation between them and his friend had continued into the morning; even when other friends returned from their dreams to the sitting room to join them. He had helped her to make breakfast and then eaten half of hers when she couldn’t manage it. They had laughed at the stupid programmes they were half-heartedly watching on the telly and he had closed off the conversation to just the two of them briefly several times to make light-hearted inside jokes that only the two of them understood. She hadn’t been able to stop smiling the entire time they were together, even when his friend had shot her a couple of knowing looks from across the room when catching her attempting to discretely glance at the beautiful boy next to her, with his constellations of freckles and superbly charming eloquence and wit. They had sat together in the back of the car on the way home from the party and he had gotten out of the car with her at her house to help her retrieve her bags from the boot of the car. He had hugged her briefly and smiled at her, before returning to the back seat of the car and leaving her with her butterfly-inducing thoughts and her desire to see him again.
Saturday 1 November 2014
Tuesday 31 August 2010
My Voyage Of Self-Discovery
Earlier this evening:
I think that I may have found my new place of inspiration. It's so quiet and calm and peaceful...I feel as though I am at one with nature here...the quiet seems alive, somehow. I don't want these to be empty words, copied from someone else...I'm not having some kind of out-of-body, holy experience or anything! This place (Stockholm as a whole) reminds me a lot of Hong Kong - perhaps it is because they are both so foreign to me - but with one difference; Stockholm feels like home.
I feel as if I could walk on and on and on forever here, along between the trees, by the water. But then you get a glimpse of the city, of reality; real life. It should spoil it but it's so Swedishly beautiful and so far away that it doesn't.
I feel as though I need to remain silent and hidden as others pass by. Keep my presence a secret. As though knowing that other people know of me here will spoil everything...the whole serenity of this place. I know they know I'm here - I'm sure of it! - yet somehow I cannot help but feel like this. It's a beautiful, unspoken secret between me and nature, hidden from the rest of the world.
I feel as though this - the sound of nothing but footsteps and nature and the water lapping against the rocks - this is the true sound of silence.
Serenity
I feel as if I have walked today
A truly secret path
Through the forest.
I know it
To be untrue,
I do.
Yet still I walk
My secret pathway.
My voyage of self-discovery. I don't mean to be pretentious; it's just how my mind is thinking of it...the way it has decided to refer to it...in my head.
Even the sound of myself seems intrusive...rude, somehow.
And now...back to reality.
I think that I may have found my new place of inspiration. It's so quiet and calm and peaceful...I feel as though I am at one with nature here...the quiet seems alive, somehow. I don't want these to be empty words, copied from someone else...I'm not having some kind of out-of-body, holy experience or anything! This place (Stockholm as a whole) reminds me a lot of Hong Kong - perhaps it is because they are both so foreign to me - but with one difference; Stockholm feels like home.
I feel as if I could walk on and on and on forever here, along between the trees, by the water. But then you get a glimpse of the city, of reality; real life. It should spoil it but it's so Swedishly beautiful and so far away that it doesn't.
I feel as though I need to remain silent and hidden as others pass by. Keep my presence a secret. As though knowing that other people know of me here will spoil everything...the whole serenity of this place. I know they know I'm here - I'm sure of it! - yet somehow I cannot help but feel like this. It's a beautiful, unspoken secret between me and nature, hidden from the rest of the world.
I feel as though this - the sound of nothing but footsteps and nature and the water lapping against the rocks - this is the true sound of silence.
Serenity
I feel as if I have walked today
A truly secret path
Through the forest.
I know it
To be untrue,
I do.
Yet still I walk
My secret pathway.
My voyage of self-discovery. I don't mean to be pretentious; it's just how my mind is thinking of it...the way it has decided to refer to it...in my head.
Even the sound of myself seems intrusive...rude, somehow.
And now...back to reality.
Tuesday 10 August 2010
You Inspire Me
You inspire me
To write.
Provoking such strong emotions.
Your smile
Lights up
My world
Yet
You have
No
Idea.
Maybe one day
You will.
Their Ghosts
Their ghosts echo down the corridors.
So loud I can practically hear them.
But the rooms hold only silence.
I wonder that they were ever here.
I can hear their voices,
Their laughs,
Their teasing.
See the smiles,
Know the fun we had together.
But now they are gone.
Split across the world,
Speaking in different tongues.
For a brief moment in time
We were united,
Now
Each has gone their separate way
And I am here
Alone.
I wonder where they all are now.
I wonder if they
Think of me
Too.
So loud I can practically hear them.
But the rooms hold only silence.
I wonder that they were ever here.
I can hear their voices,
Their laughs,
Their teasing.
See the smiles,
Know the fun we had together.
But now they are gone.
Split across the world,
Speaking in different tongues.
For a brief moment in time
We were united,
Now
Each has gone their separate way
And I am here
Alone.
I wonder where they all are now.
I wonder if they
Think of me
Too.
Friday 6 August 2010
In love...or just lust??
Oh my goodness...you know that amazing feeling when you fancy someone so much that you just can't stop thinking about them?
Yeah, I've got it!
Yeah, I've got it!
Tuesday 3 August 2010
Homeless
I wish I could free all the
Feathers.
Set them loose in the wind.
The ones trapped
In grass
Plants
Webs.
The lost ones.
Homeless.
Set them free.
Feathers.
Set them loose in the wind.
The ones trapped
In grass
Plants
Webs.
The lost ones.
Homeless.
Set them free.
Monday 2 August 2010
Way Up Here
Time comes to a standstill
From way up here.
I can contemplate it
But not comprehend.
I step away from reality
Towards the edge of my world.
My quiet edge of my world.
Silence
Can be found at the edge of my world.
I can look over at the great depths
Down into blue nothingness.
The further from their reality;
The journey there is easier than
The return.
Funny,
As time seems not to exist
In this - my - reality.
And then I am brought back.
From way up here.
I can contemplate it
But not comprehend.
I step away from reality
Towards the edge of my world.
My quiet edge of my world.
Silence
Can be found at the edge of my world.
I can look over at the great depths
Down into blue nothingness.
The further from their reality;
The journey there is easier than
The return.
Funny,
As time seems not to exist
In this - my - reality.
And then I am brought back.
Thursday 17 June 2010
Natural beauty
Wow, it's been a long long time since I last posted something here... A lot has happened in the last couple of months; some incredible, some horrendous.
I think I'll focus on the exciting, positive things here.
So first off, I've finished my first year of uni! Very scary that it's already been a year (well, a year in the life of uni, not a proper year) and...I've passed! Hooray =]
Secondly, I'm off to Sweden mid-August to study for a term in Stockholm - how exciting! I can speak about three words of Swedish (well, more like thirteen haha) but I'm going to study it whilst I am out there...that'll be very cool. I know it's a bit weird going there considering I'm studying English language and Spanish but it was just on a whim that I decided to apply and for some reason they liked me!
Thirdly...well, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and I can hear the sea from where I sit. When I had to move out of halls at uni I was so sad but the truth is, I love living here - it's so beautiful and (mostly) natural...which I think is incredible because nature certainly deserves the world more than we do.
Anyway, guess I should go but now I'm back, hopefully I'll actually be able to keep this up now. Thanks for reading! xx
I think I'll focus on the exciting, positive things here.
So first off, I've finished my first year of uni! Very scary that it's already been a year (well, a year in the life of uni, not a proper year) and...I've passed! Hooray =]
Secondly, I'm off to Sweden mid-August to study for a term in Stockholm - how exciting! I can speak about three words of Swedish (well, more like thirteen haha) but I'm going to study it whilst I am out there...that'll be very cool. I know it's a bit weird going there considering I'm studying English language and Spanish but it was just on a whim that I decided to apply and for some reason they liked me!
Thirdly...well, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and I can hear the sea from where I sit. When I had to move out of halls at uni I was so sad but the truth is, I love living here - it's so beautiful and (mostly) natural...which I think is incredible because nature certainly deserves the world more than we do.
Anyway, guess I should go but now I'm back, hopefully I'll actually be able to keep this up now. Thanks for reading! xx
Monday 1 February 2010
Alone time...
Alone at last! Not that I begrudge my time but the last couple of weeks, I've hardly had any time to myself!! Finally, some time where I can sit and write undisturbed...well, that's what I thought until about 15 minutes ago when I had a knock at my door with a lovely yet apologetic messenger informing me that my milk had leaked all over the communal fridge...ARGH! My fault - obviously - so I went to clear it up. When I returned, I had a missed call from my mum...I called her back to hear (via my sister) that she's driving now so she'll call again when she gets home...then a message from a friend asking me to ask my sister to go on Skype...
Not that I'm trying to pretend I'm hugely popular or anything!!!! But sometimes it's really nice to just have a little time to yourself to stop and think...
Time for some music I think... Outside Looking In by Nick Lachey is the one I have in my head at the moment so I'm listening to him now.
It must be mentioned that I'm really enjoying university at the moment...maybe not for all the 'right' reasons (drinking, partying and clubbing spring directly to mind as those things I should be doing but just don't enjoy) but for all my own, personal reasons...I'm studying some really interesting things, I live on a really amazing campus, central London is only a short journey away - and the freedom!! It's just brilliant! Not only that but my cousin is moving not a five minute walk away from me in the next couple of weeks so I'll be able to spend as much time with her as we want without her messing up my room - I'll be able to mess hers up instead!! And with my lovely boyfriend only a tube journey away, life is pretty convenient at the moment - I'm really very lucky.
Obviously with a whole load of studying as well...!!!
Not that I'm trying to pretend I'm hugely popular or anything!!!! But sometimes it's really nice to just have a little time to yourself to stop and think...
Time for some music I think... Outside Looking In by Nick Lachey is the one I have in my head at the moment so I'm listening to him now.
It must be mentioned that I'm really enjoying university at the moment...maybe not for all the 'right' reasons (drinking, partying and clubbing spring directly to mind as those things I should be doing but just don't enjoy) but for all my own, personal reasons...I'm studying some really interesting things, I live on a really amazing campus, central London is only a short journey away - and the freedom!! It's just brilliant! Not only that but my cousin is moving not a five minute walk away from me in the next couple of weeks so I'll be able to spend as much time with her as we want without her messing up my room - I'll be able to mess hers up instead!! And with my lovely boyfriend only a tube journey away, life is pretty convenient at the moment - I'm really very lucky.
Obviously with a whole load of studying as well...!!!
Thursday 14 January 2010
House hunting
So my cousin's up for the week...she wants to move up here and so she's been staying with me so that she can get everything sorted...
It's quite funny really; in the last couple of days my room has suddenly turned into a total mess and I don't have any time to myself at the moment...! I'm a person who really likes their space so that's interesting but actually things aren't going too badly at the moment.
Last night we were on the internet for about three hours (really really sad and normally I wouldn't dream of it but we had quite a laugh!) and then decided at 11.45pm that we really needed to go out...so we piled on a load of clothes (it's really cold here at the moment) and headed off out to Asda!! It's 24 hours and we expected to be the only ones there but were surprised (and highly entertained) to find that a fair few people do their Asda shopping at 12.30am!!! I might start doing my weekly shop then cos it was waaaay less crowded than usual!
We're off house-hunting this evening - should be good fun and worth doing because I've gotta start looking for somewhere to live next year - I don't think I could bear living in halls of residence again!!! I've met some lovely people but I've also been forced to live with some horrendous ones so I can't wait to choose who I get to live with this time!! Haha...
Examples: Three nights ago one of my friends woke everyone on our floor at 4.15am running up and down spraying a fire extinguisher...One of the most irritating, annoying guys I've ever been forced to live with (who consequently also thinks he's gorgeous) frequently walks up and down the corridor baring his chest to the rather unfortunate world...I woke two nights ago to the dulcet tones of heavy metal and stompy dancing from the floor above me at 3am...
Despite all of these things, I am really enjoying living here because there are some really great people that I live with too...!!
Ahh...university.
It's quite funny really; in the last couple of days my room has suddenly turned into a total mess and I don't have any time to myself at the moment...! I'm a person who really likes their space so that's interesting but actually things aren't going too badly at the moment.
Last night we were on the internet for about three hours (really really sad and normally I wouldn't dream of it but we had quite a laugh!) and then decided at 11.45pm that we really needed to go out...so we piled on a load of clothes (it's really cold here at the moment) and headed off out to Asda!! It's 24 hours and we expected to be the only ones there but were surprised (and highly entertained) to find that a fair few people do their Asda shopping at 12.30am!!! I might start doing my weekly shop then cos it was waaaay less crowded than usual!
We're off house-hunting this evening - should be good fun and worth doing because I've gotta start looking for somewhere to live next year - I don't think I could bear living in halls of residence again!!! I've met some lovely people but I've also been forced to live with some horrendous ones so I can't wait to choose who I get to live with this time!! Haha...
Examples: Three nights ago one of my friends woke everyone on our floor at 4.15am running up and down spraying a fire extinguisher...One of the most irritating, annoying guys I've ever been forced to live with (who consequently also thinks he's gorgeous) frequently walks up and down the corridor baring his chest to the rather unfortunate world...I woke two nights ago to the dulcet tones of heavy metal and stompy dancing from the floor above me at 3am...
Despite all of these things, I am really enjoying living here because there are some really great people that I live with too...!!
Ahh...university.
Monday 11 January 2010
A Typical Day In The Life Of A Uni Student
So it's my first day back at uni after the Christmas hols today...and it's been quite a long day too! Six hours of lectures - up from last term where I only had three on a Monday...although I can't complain because I only have lectures Monday to Wednesday now. It did surprise me when I started here in September that I only had 10.5 hours of lectures a week - I'd thought it would have been a little more than that! But never mind, eh?!
I set my alarm for 8am...didn't actually drag myself out of bed until 9.30 (seven alarms later) - I couldn't work out why I was so tired until I went into the kitchen later for lunch where one of my floormates started apologising profusely for waking everyone up at 4am - she was almost surprised that running up and down the corridor with the fire extinguisher on full blast had woken so many people up - just for a drunken laugh, of course. Seriously though, if we have a fire before it gets replaced I won't be happy!!! Haha... Anyway, back to 9.30 when I dragged myself out of bed and down the corridor for breakfast - quite healthy; I'm a big cereal person.
First lecture - boring! It was Spanish - two hours of grammar which I can't say is the best part of my week to be honest! Followed by an hour of Spanish history and then - brilliantly - two hours of lunch. I didn't really get up to much then before heading up for my three hour lecture 'Meaning in language' - surprisingly, it wasn't as boring as it sounded, which was great because it's three hours long. We left a bit early from that, where I headed for the kitchen to talk to some of my friends - they're all going out tonight but I'm shattered, can't really be bothered and too stingy to pay the fiver for the privilege - especially having been forced to spend £5 on a course reader earlier...so unfair!
Dinner soon I guess and then some work...at least it'll be quiet until about 2.30am when everyone will return!! I know, I sound miserable but I am enjoying living here, really!! And I must of course conserve my energy - my best (uni) friend is returning tomorrow and my cousin's coming to stay for a few days so I'll need all the energy (and money) I can get then!
I set my alarm for 8am...didn't actually drag myself out of bed until 9.30 (seven alarms later) - I couldn't work out why I was so tired until I went into the kitchen later for lunch where one of my floormates started apologising profusely for waking everyone up at 4am - she was almost surprised that running up and down the corridor with the fire extinguisher on full blast had woken so many people up - just for a drunken laugh, of course. Seriously though, if we have a fire before it gets replaced I won't be happy!!! Haha... Anyway, back to 9.30 when I dragged myself out of bed and down the corridor for breakfast - quite healthy; I'm a big cereal person.
First lecture - boring! It was Spanish - two hours of grammar which I can't say is the best part of my week to be honest! Followed by an hour of Spanish history and then - brilliantly - two hours of lunch. I didn't really get up to much then before heading up for my three hour lecture 'Meaning in language' - surprisingly, it wasn't as boring as it sounded, which was great because it's three hours long. We left a bit early from that, where I headed for the kitchen to talk to some of my friends - they're all going out tonight but I'm shattered, can't really be bothered and too stingy to pay the fiver for the privilege - especially having been forced to spend £5 on a course reader earlier...so unfair!
Dinner soon I guess and then some work...at least it'll be quiet until about 2.30am when everyone will return!! I know, I sound miserable but I am enjoying living here, really!! And I must of course conserve my energy - my best (uni) friend is returning tomorrow and my cousin's coming to stay for a few days so I'll need all the energy (and money) I can get then!
Saturday 9 January 2010
The Circle of Life
Saw the Lion King in London today. It was absolutely amazing and completely inspiring =] The way they made the costumes were just incredible. Definitely a must-see for everyone.
It's amazing the way people can interpret the same things in a completely different way and how the same event triggers a different emotional response from different people. Parts of the show were so emotional for me, partly because I can remember watching the film when I was younger...then again, other people said completely different things. I'm sure it depends on the experiences of the person but I just think it's incredible.
Friday 8 January 2010
Welcome to me
So...welcome to my first blog.
I suppose I should explain my blog title...
The weather fascinates me because it's like the sea; ever-changing and impossible for humans to control. One of the few things that we humans cannot spoil...and that makes it awesome to me.
There has been an incredible amount of snow the last few days where I live but before that we had incredible storms and one day I looked up out of my attic window to see orange hail from a purple sky. It was gorgeous and so original and that's what inspired my title.
As for this...well, I love to write and someone I know has been writing a blog so I thought it was time to get in on the action and have a go. If you actually have given me this much time to read my thoughts then thank you and hopefully if you bear with me I'll turn out to be a little bit interesting.
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